I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
