I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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