I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
