One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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