I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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