Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
then he tried to convert me to islam
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
