I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
