just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
