Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
