Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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