We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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