I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
