Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
