so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
