Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
