Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize