Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
