oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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