Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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