I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
