My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
