I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
