How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
