So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
