i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
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