idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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