I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
