I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
