So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
