I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
