I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
