Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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