i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
