BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
