But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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