Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
