hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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