I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Little spoons don't ask big questions
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
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