"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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