No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
