i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
