Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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