Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
