hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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