There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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