i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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