based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
