I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
