i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
