this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
