ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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