I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
