FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
