dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
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