Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
