Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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