Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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