She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
