smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
