im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
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